Human Emotion
by Platinum Prince
Summary: Higher education is difficult to obtain. University student and author, Eiri Yuki is happy in his self imposed isolation. However no one seems to want to leave him alone. Whether he wants it or not he'll have to face human emotions.
1. Default Chapter

Human Emotion  
  
By: Platinum Prince  
  
Standard Disclaimer:  
  
I have no money and this won't earn me any, So if you're here to sue me you'll be lucky to get a penny. I don't own the characters but I own the story, Please don't steal it or I'll make you sorry.  
  
The electric blue lights shone brightly in a futile effort to mirror the intense passion reflected in those sapphire eyes. The clear crystal mist of dew collected and fell from the corners of those pools of blue, streaking the soft powdery cheeks.  
  
"What a load of bull shit."  
  
My head hurts and I think I just threw my back when I shoved myself away from that garbage I call my work. Trivial emotions blanketed with flowery words and dramatic backgrounds, I'm worse that the sappiest of shojo manga authors.  
  
"How do people read this drivel? Why the hell am I writing this perfumed trashy romance in the first place?"  
  
Taking a deep draw on my cigarette and leaning back into the leather contours of my chair, stress floating off of me like those wispy swirls of smoke from my lips.  
  
"Only one more year until I graduate, then I put this in the dumpster where it belongs."  
  
The words cut into the glowing screen, the only light in the scantily furnished room. There is something to be said about minimalism, but I'm not going to say it. I just despise shopping of any kind. Those words are laughing at me. They are mocking me right now, the starving artist, the poor university student, writing about romance when he's never bothered to fall in love. The closest he's been to a relationship was a childhood case of infatuation. One click of the mouse and the screen goes black, taking those words with it. A smirk of triumph marks my lips as the last breath of smoke dissipates.  
  
"Serves you bastards right, not so high and mighty now are you?"  
  
I'm pathetic. I feel such pride in turning off my laptop? I need to get out and get drunk before I lose my mind.  
  
With more force than necessary I push the chair into place and nearly trip over my own feet in my haste to leave. Jacket in hand keys in my pocket and a new cigarette resting between my lips as the door slams shut. I don't waste time when my mission is to get wasted.  
  
I'm only a few blocks from the local bar scene so I choose to walk, the fact that my car is out of gas has nothing to do with my decision. It's expensive looking and it gets warm bodies into my bed. I'm not looking for that tonight; I just want more alcohol in my veins than blood and a dark corner to observe the crowds. I may not be a people person but I do enjoy laughing at their little escapades. Besides I need to gather inspiration for my next great disaster of literature if it can even be called that.  
  
Pounding noise and chaotic voices are the welcome committee and I'm happy to see a clear space at the corner of the bar. Within moments a glass is in my hand and smoke trails from my breath. No one lives forever but even I must admit this would be classified as unhealthy. It seems I need more to drink in order to drown out that annoying conscience voice I have. Maybe if I drink enough I'll kill the brain cells it lives in.  
  
"I'm pleased to see you alive and well Eiri-san. You've been locked up with your work and classes I hardly see you anymore."  
  
A short and slender body clad in silver leather pants, fur lined black shirt and matching collar. A blonde bombshell with the face of an angel and the mind of a demon known as Tohma Seguchi was standing with a polite smile playing on his cherub features.  
  
"I can't hold a normal job and go to university. The irregular hours suit a writer though, don't you agree? I've grown quite fond of eating over the years so I try to make deadlines. My social life is just a casualty for the sake of art."  
  
I swallow the last of my drink, it burns its way to the pit of my stomach and sends a wave of almost pleasant warmth through my body. Tapping the counter the bartender refills the glass and I toss in my payment for the privilege of poisoning myself in the most pleasant of ways.  
  
"If I didn't know any batter I'd almost think you were unhappy to see me."  
  
"How could I be unhappy? I'm just honored to have the pleasure of Tokyo universities musical genius as my companion on my quest for public drunkenness."  
  
His smile broadened as he turned to order himself a drink. The barkeep turns away only to come back wit a glass filled with ice and a light green liquid, mint leaves decorating the tip of the straw. Tohma could out drink the best of them but hated the taste of hard liquors and beer so he stuck with flavored mixes like his current favorite, the Diablo Menthe. I on the other hand didn't turn to alcohol for the taste. Make it hard and drink it fast, I'd like to arrive at oblivion sooner rather than latter. I'm not one to procrastinate after all.  
  
"You will be able to spare a few hours and attend the spring festival with me won't you though Eiri-san? "  
  
I know I look hard and cold, I can feel my face stiffen and my eyes narrow out of habit. He's used to my frigid demeanor though. Actually if I'm not mistaken he was the one to start that nick name that has followed me around for years. Maybe I really am the ice prince.  
  
"The crowds smother me, the noise grates on my nerves, and the colors and flowers cramp my style. Why don't you have your cousin or one of your fans accompany you? "  
  
"Don't be like that. You loved the festival when you were younger. Do you really hate me that much Eiri-san that you wouldn't spend a few hours with me. I'm even paying for the games and food."  
  
"I'll go."  
  
"I knew you'd come around. I'd best get back to my companions before they come looking for me. I know you don't want the extra company though I think you are going to regret your indulgences tomorrow."  
  
I growled like the beast I am and he smiled politely and walked back into the crowd in which he came. I downed my drink and what was left of his before stalking out of the club. I wasn't in the mood for such a lively scene anymore and I have enough alcohol to kill off any real intelligence I might have.  
  
Stumbling and swaying slightly I made it up the stairs to my apartment. The keys fumbled in my hand and I uttered things best not repeated in polite company. Falling through the doorway I made my way to my bed and collapsed with open arms into my mistresses arms, the over stuffed pillow. Within moments I could feel the touches of Morpheus bid reality away and replace it with the blissful oblivion of dreamless sleep.  
  
Please tell me what you think. I welcome compliments to feed my already overblown ego, insults and criticism to fuel my desire for improvement, suggestions to frame the story. A lot of the plot is up in the air so if there is something you want to see, ask for it. If I see there is an audience to appease I'll make an extra effort to update regularly and often.  
  
Now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to one of my other obsessions... 


	2. fatigue

Human Emotion  
  
By: Platinum Prince  
  
Standard Disclaimer:  
  
I don't own these characters and just so you know, I also don't own very much dough. So if you are looking to sue, all you will get is a bill, But don't steal the story if you or I'll set phasers to kill.  
  
The thunderous clash of titans could not compare to the resounding sound of my own pulse. I can hear it echoing between my ears like the waves slamming against the cold unforgiving rock that is my skull, unburdened by any obstacle blocking its destructive path. After all I did go to great lengths to destroy my brain last night, and if nothing else I am through. At least that burdensome conscience should have died along with it. I would have liked to hear its last pitiful wails as it was swallowed by the abyss. It should have resigned itself to knowing I was a lost cause years ago. It could have avoided such a fate but it seems it was as self destructive as I am. The poor pitiful fool.  
  
Arms are stiff, as are my legs. Head has been caught between the blacksmith's hammer and the anvil. Eyes are blurry and stomach swimming in a whirlpool spinning into a vortex that even a black hole could not fathom to create. All in all I feel fine, simply peachy, now if only I could ask the room to stop moving.  
  
Evidently that is too much to ask but at least the blunt of the storm has past and the walls are only swaying. Perhaps if I lay still and don't concentrate on any of the agonizing and dreadfully painful rewards of my night out's exploits I will be able to fall back into the land of the comatose and sleep my way through this hang over from hell.  
  
The door bell rings with the force of a hundred temple gongs sending the world on its head, or rather my head. Perhaps if I use my dormant physic abilities to transmit the fact I'm in no mood for company they will get the picture and leave. Perhaps I can make them burst into flames as well if they don't leave quickly enough. Yes a nice pile of ashes, they will soon join that pesky conscience of mine in hell.  
  
The bell rings again sending the sensation of millions of chards of glass stabbing into the interior of my empty skull. I forgot, I killed what was left of my mind last night, along with any physic abilities that would come ever so handy in this very situation. Though if I hadn't killed it then I might not be quite so anti social at the moment. The joy of paradoxes in the morning.  
"Eiri... Eiri wake up its past noon. I know you are in there Eiri and if you don't get your sorry ass out of bed it will be the devil to pay! Are you listening to me Eiri Uesagi?"  
  
Correction, the joy of paradoxes in the early afternoon then, there isn't much difference. All I know is that somehow I manage to pull myself out of the embrace of my lover's arms. Dear sweet overstuffed pillow I bid thee farewell. I hope to fall into the paradise that is your sweet welcoming touch soon. It is thoughts like these that remind me I am a romance author.  
  
"I'm coming you foul mouthed witch."  
  
I think I nearly ripped the door off its hinges, an effort I paid for with an over powering sensation of vertigo.  
  
"What a coincidence though, I was just thinking of lighting you aflame. You could keep my conscience company in hell and the devil will get a worse headache than mine the way you two yammer."  
  
"I see you are your normal pleasant self. I know you are not a morning person but this is ridiculous. Besides it's three in the afternoon, it's too late to be a bad morning person. "  
  
"It's never too late. It's always morning somewhere so I can stay as ill tempered here as long as I want."  
  
"With that kind of logic you can also drink yourself into a stupor whenever you want. After all it's happy hour somewhere, so get drunk of your sorry ass and forget to have a shower whenever you want you dirty sewer rat."  
  
Perhaps I did forget a shower and the stench of sweat, smoke, and alcohol was a bit strong but you would think one's sister would be a bit more loving than this. So what if I had essentially told her to burn and go to hell. I don't have a conscience to bother me about such details. Damn it I do, that stubborn bastard won't give up and die. Take a vacation as least and leave me alone you sadistic disembodied voice.  
  
I lead her into what I call my living room and fall into my chair. She gracefully seats herself and pulls it forward, intruding on my personal space even more.  
  
"I was tired and wasn't expecting any visitors today. If you'll excuse me I'll go be foul tempered and odorous in the comfort of my lover's arms."  
  
"Lover? Since when have you ever been in a serious enough relationship to call someone your lover? Half the time you don' even know their name."  
  
"My pillow you loud mouthed witch. I have a hang over; can't you at least have the decency to refrain from yelling in my ear?  
  
I know I'm glaring. I know my hair is a mess, my cloths are wrinkled, I probably do smell in an unpleasant way, and my voice is harsher than normal. So why can't she take a hint and leave. This had better be important or I'll tie my laptop to her and send her and my latest creation into the inferno.  
  
"Tell me why you are here so I can dismiss you and get back to sleep."  
  
"Well dear brother, father has been feeling his years lately and wishes for your presence before he enters his deathbed."  
  
"That old codger will never die just to spite me and you know that. He's been on his deathbed every couple weeks ever since I left home. Mika I'm tired."  
  
I can tell she's glaring at me now through those dark sunglasses of hers. The ends of her blonde hair are twitching like the medusa and any moment now she'll pull of those glasses and strike with deadly accuracy.  
  
"Of course you're tired, you were out all night."  
  
"I don't want to be here Mika, and I don't want to go back even more. I'm not in the mood for this anymore."  
  
Her face softens and I see her hand reach out and rest it on my shoulder. My first reaction is to brush her off but with the help of that persistently nagging voice in my head I resist the temptation.  
  
"I know Eiri, but he does want to see you and you know it would make the old man happy. Think about it a little."  
  
I watch her collect herself and stand, glancing over my apartment she turns to me and then departs, closing the door quietly.  
  
Sleep or a shower? After mulling over it for several minutes or second I opt for the latter. I don't think I could fall back asleep now that I am aware of the scent of crowds and too much drink.  
  
In spite of all my ailments I'll never admit to Tohma he was right about me regretting such indulgences. I'd rather spend eternity writing this romantic sewage and throwing to the mercy of the fan girls. An unpleasant fate to be sure, but nothing in comparison to admitting to Tohma he was right.  
  
After shedding my smoke scented white shirt and chaffing black pants I'm already feeling much better anyway. Turning on the shower the hot, almost biting water washes away the grit and grim of the city, all those impurities swirling into the drain and out of sight. My sweat covered hair felt lighter even with the weight of water clinging to every strand. In a word, it was refreshing.  
  
Turning off the water and stepping out into the cooler air a shiver running through me involuntarily. I welcomed the warmth of my old gray sweater and a pair of jeans. Pushing the damp locks and slipping on my reading glasses I returned to my short story. It was due today and funds were on the shallow end of the pool so it was best I turned this in on time. Housewives and school girls brace yourselves.  
  
I know I write relatively short chapters, but I am working on lengthening them. I'm often torn between editing and length as I try to meet my self imposed deadlines.  
  
I was a little slower than normal posting this chapter. I had to go in for shots and then and MRI the next day. My doctor is a wonderful person but I hope I don't have to see her for a very long time.  
  
Enough of my excuses, please tell me what you think, any advise, etc. I'd like to be able to grow as an author and to do so I need objective insight. Thank you for reading. 


	3. dark corners

Human Emotion  
  
By: Platinum Prince  
  
University is my goal, Higher learning guides my soul. but this I can only afford, with the help of the financial aid board. So I'm asking you not to sue, because all you will get is my broken left shoe, Though I could use some, I'm making no money, but if you steal this story I'll release my attack bunny.  
  
I've decided to start posting my little notes at the beginning instead of the end of the chapter. I'm sure you are fascinated. If you couldn't tell from my writing I'm very fond of sarcasm. This chapter will hopefully take the story into new directions and expand further on the characters already in play while introducing new ones. I had to delete my first draft of my author's notes for this chapter because I decided they were better meant to be a part of the story. Though the characters aren't mine and I do try to remain in character, I seem to infuse a bit of myself into each of them. There I go sounding old again. I never can act my age. I either act like a kid or sound old. Anyway enough of my senile rambling, if you enjoy this story, have a favorite line, or if you only read it to crack jokes at my pitiful attempts, please review, after all authors are really just a bunch of dogs begging for a bone once in awhile. Throw a bone already.  
  
I arrived at university this Monday though it shouldn't slow down updates since I can only take one class and seminar during preview session. I've planned to return to otakon this year. If anyone else is attending I'd love to hear from you. If the gravitation photo shoot is ever decided upon I plan on attending.  
  
I think that's enough ranting for one chapter but please do review, even if it's just a short message saying something like Yuki is too sarcastic or where is my favorite character in this story. I can't make the story better without the help of the readers.  
  
I've become a zombie. My sleep deprived corpse has been striped of all intelligent speech, Eyes are sunken into their sockets, hair limp and faded, skin pale, my arm as heavy as lead, falls to my side, the other clutching onto my only lifeline, coffee. I star at the printer going back and forth on the crisp white paper as I greet my dear old friend Joe. Even with his help I am barely risen form the grave. I haven't slept in four days, or showered in two, my hair hasn't seen a comb in over a week, and I forgot to brush my teeth this morning. I must smell like something dead, or living dead.  
  
Time must have finally stopped, the printer seems like it isn't even moving anymore and the apartment is perfectly silent once again. I sip my black coffee, its strong enough to sit up and bark, and remind myself to blink. Time is so slow, the printer still hasn't moved, no new pages have been added to the considerable pile in the output tray. I glance at the clock on my computer screen and watch the seconds tick by.  
  
"I'm done."  
  
Perhaps after I take this in I'll just miss class today. I could use the free time, maybe catch up in my personal hygiene or attempt to reclaim my lover the beautiful lady known as the over stuffed pillow. I think even a few of my classmates might appreciate my absence from the desk near them. They deserve some fresh air and I deserve a little reward for my labors.  
  
Combing my hair briefly and tucking my manuscript inside a folder for safe keeping I leave the sanctuary of my apartment and venture out into the wide world during daylight hours no less. I have seen the light and it is blinding and burns like hell. My poor retinas are aflame.  
  
Rather than risk my beautiful convertible with my sleep deprived reckless driving, I'll walk. It seems I'm doing a lot of that lately. If anyone asks I'm doing it to be healthy. Maybe it will even reverse the effects of binge drinking and chain smoking. For all I know I might even get a tan for all this outdoor activity.  
  
"I really am exhausted, even my inner voice is struggling for a decent sarcastic remark."  
  
To think I'm putting for all this effort to go to Tokyo University of all places. It sounded good at the time to leave home and make it on my own, pay for college with my savings, inheritance, and maybe a side job. Tokyo University, they're government subsidized, I can afford it and I don't have to use the weight of my family's name to get in.  
  
I was such a naïve fool. At least I can live off of beer and whatever food Tohma and Mika force into my refrigerator. The lights don't really have to go either since if you wait a little your eyes do get somewhat adjusted to the absolute despair of and empty dark room.  
  
At least I wasn't stupid enough to leave everything behind. I took cloths, my car, and the essentials, and that is what I live off of, the essentials and alcohol.  
  
Its cool out today but spring is just around the corner. With spring comes the new life, love, or at least that's what they say. The sakura bosoms will come again. A symbol of the frailty of life amongst the signs of rebirth, it seems nature has an ironic sense of humor.  
  
Lighting the cigarette that hangs from my lips the doors slide open, admitting me into the building. The woman behind the counter is flipping though a magazine, probably perusing the little questionnaires or searching for photos of the current heartthrob, the monthly flavor of teenage infatuation.  
  
She doesn't even look up from that ridiculous excuse for reading material as I pass. Not that I should be talking, my work fills the pages of similar magazines.  
  
An elevator ride and stroll down the hall later and I'm standing in front of my editor's door. I despise working on their schedule. The moment I become a reputable name I'm going to be an editor's worst nightmare. Until then I'd best be punctual and at least not openly hostile.  
  
"Useagi Eiri, must you always wait until the last second before your deadline to turning your work?"  
  
"I like to be through. After a year you have yet to have to make a single correction."  
  
"Well that is true but if every writer was like that I'd be out of a job."  
  
It took everything I had to bite back on my comments. I merely smiled and nodded as she wrote down the amount owed to me and pointed me down the hall. Moments later I had a check in hand, and that calls for a celebration tonight or in other words a six pack of beer and a bottle of wine to wash it down in the comfortable silence of my apartment followed by a coma like state.  
  
I must admit the walk him was quite a bit more pleasant than the walk to the editor. The gray sky, sidewalk, and buldings, seem to posses a little more life to them. I guess even the bleakest part of winter's end can have a brighter side when your bank account and wallet have been well fed.  
  
"Where the hell am I?"  
  
In my sleep deprived and unusually positive state of mind I missed my apartment. Forget everything I said previously, the day is dark, bleak, and filled with the sound of misery. The trees look dead, the horizon is as dirty gray as the filthy sidewalk contaminating my only good pair of shoes, and now to make this miserable wretched evening better I think it's starting to rain.  
  
The sky began to open up, spilling forth all it's pent of fury as I ducked into the nearest doorway and found myself in some hole in the wall nightclub not yet set up for it's nocturnal patrons.  
  
Glancing out the window it is easy to see the rain will not be letting up anytime soon. The clouds of bitter despair had already fallen across the sky, blackening it prematurely, souring what sense of accomplishment I had. I'm not about to further dampen my evening by walking through it.  
  
I made a bee line for the darkest corner away from the sound system and close to the bar. There I collapsed, into the worn leather booth and ordered a drink. Slowly drinking the glass of draft I stretched out and contented myself with watching the patrons slowly come filing in.  
  
NOTE: Damn this is rather short and it took me a long time to write. Things will get better and the next chapter introduces some serious plot twists and more characters. 


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